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Hot mics in empty MLB stadiums: Profanity ensues

Let’s start by saying this up front: If you don’t want to hear bad words, then don’t click the videos below. As for the rest of you, here’s an entertraining listen into how managers and umpires talk to each other when things get heated on the field.

We get to hear it because there is one unintentionally fun bypdroduct of the COVID-19 pandemic: unfiltered hot-mic moments. Top-of-the-line audio equipment can pick up everything that’s said in an empty stadium. Viewers got a double dose of it Sunday in Detroit and Miami.

The Motown sound was courtesy of umpire Tim Timmons, who was offended that Tigers manager Ron Gardenhire would dare to question one of his calls.

Ever wonder what it actually sounds like when an ump ejects someone? Glad you asked!

Umpire Tim Timmons got caught on a hot mic when ejecting Ron Gardenhire and it is priceless. (Audio up!)#Indians #Tigers pic.twitter.com/wXcV427cUX

— Roberto Shenanigans (@Rob_Shenanigans) August 16, 2020

MORE: Nats’ Strasburg ejected from stands for arguing with umpire

In South Florida, Marlins skipper Don Mattingly conjugated the F-word for James Hoye after his ejection, using it as a verb and an adjective.

Here’s the full Don Mattingly ejection. Includes him getting tossed, the profanity laced argument, and the ball/strike call that set him off.

I have attempted to reduce the crowd noise a bit to get even clearer audio. Truly a landmark moment for f-bombs on live television. pic.twitter.com/Ah9VZRyrGF

— Foolish Baseball (@FoolishBB) August 16, 2020

Announcers are quick to acknowledge the salty language, and often apologize to viewers, because of longstanding FCC rules that prohibit obscenity, indecency and profanity on the air, even on cable and satellite TV. One longtime broadcaster wasn’t bothered by any of it, though.

And in the video below, lies that which will save baseball:

An alternate feed – screw statcast, screw minimalist PXP – an alternate feed in which…

YOU CAN HEAR EVERYBODY SWEARING!@mlb would be the number one sport again within weeks. Institute it now. Charge extra. I’m in. https://t.co/z3K0N3P7KG

— Keith Olbermann (@KeithOlbermann) August 16, 2020

Hockey people might be wondering what the f—ing problem is. Swearing is as much of a skill in that sport as skating and shooting.

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